True Meaning of a Well Known Idiom

(P1: Says something clever.)

P2: That's exactly what I was thinking!

P1: Well great minds think alike.

A: That's a backhanded way of complementing yourself!

Beauty Gets You Far

(A cute guy walks out of a store.)

C: OMG, did everyone not just want to walk out of here with that guy?

S: You know, I used to think so but then he started talking.

C: Couldn't be that bad.

S: He heard my accent and asked me where I was from. I told him South Africa. He looked at me puzzled and asked if I was an albino. (S is a Caucasian with brunette hair, olive skin, and dark eyes) It didn't end there. When I said no, he asked if I was adopted because my parents must be black.

C: Thank God he's pretty!

Maybe Home Really is Where the Memories Are

There are all those stories, movies, and shows where people go back to the house they grew up and sit in a nostalgia of memories. Suddenly the picture turns amber and cute little kids are running around and their parents are happily watching them.

So recently I moved houses. I moved from a house I called home for 18 years to a new house that I wasn't even excited about because it was soo far out in the suburbs. At first I felt sad that I was leaving this house. Within one weeks time, I am accustomed to this new house and the old house feels like a cold, dark storage facility. If the old house were a friend, I think my friend would hate me forever. Good thing its just a building.

I have more feelings about the first restaurant that my parents owned. When my parents sold it, I was sad and every time I pass by I still wonder how it is doing. I remember every addition to the building we made. The stories of all our customers and employees who were like family to us. With my parents working such long hours I guess I spent more time and created more memories at the restaurant then I did at my "home."

I'm Happy Because I Amuse Myself

T: (talking to third party) Yeah she's always happy, in a conversation the other day, she called me "Miss Glass Half Empty" and asked me what happened to the glass being half full.

(3 minutes of silence goes by. A occupied playing Wii.)

A: I said that?! Hahahaha. Miss Glass Half Empty. I'm so clever! hehehehehe

T: See, she amuses herself.

A: Hey, if I can't make myself happy, who will. Besides, you remembered the conversation so I obviously made an impression. See? I am clever! :)

A2: Don't worry, I think my jokes are funny too.

Falling Tree

B: So its like, "If a tree falls in the forest did it fall?"

A: You totally messed that up! It is, "If a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it. Does it make a sound?" If a tree falls in the forest, of course it fell!

What Have You Done For Me Lately

I recently attended a professional development seminar on how to get promoted and move ahead in your professional career. Basically he was saying how we need to conform to the ways of the leaders of business and play their game. I really enjoyed the practical advice the speaker had to share. One particular thing he said struck me.

He was showing the audience a pie chart of what actions/characteristics, etc helps us get ahead in the world. Actual hard work was less than 10%. This struck many people's nerves. After all aren't we always told that if we do our best work we'll get ahead?

He mentioned that when someone hires you, the boss hires you because he expects you to do your work well. As a consequence you get paid for the work that you do. If you exceed his expectations, you may get a bonus. (Here's the kicker) The moment that your boss hands you your pay check, he has paid you for your great work and at that moment can ask you..."So, what have you done for me lately?"

(oooh ooohh oooohhh yeah~~~) Nice!

Game Depicting Life Again

So another game I played recently is "Virtual Villagers."

Gist: You have little people running around this one village trying to solve puzzles in order to survive. The game doesn't really involve much brain power. They have to farm, fish, research, build things, have babies, etc. Each person in your village has to work and gain experience. If one person masters three different skills, that person becomes an esteemed elder. You then get a totem pole for every esteemed elder you create. It is quite an addicting game and fun to play.

Like most games, there is no real point to it once you solve all the puzzles. I still liked my little village and I was intrigued by the totem poles (you got a different one every once in a while) so I decided to make it a quest of mine to find every different totem pole available, meaning I had to make as many esteemed elders as possible.

As time passed, my village kept growing till it reached the maximum of 90 people. It was hard telling them apart so I decided to dress each esteemed elder in a white robe. Quite prestigious! Before I knew it I had a bunch of elders. I was so proud of myself making so many elders and collecting so many totem poles (turned out there were only about 8 different poles).

All of a sudden, I saw that some of my people had mastered three skills, but weren't considered esteemed elders and no more totem poles appeared. Were there so many elders that it just wasn't special anymore? The villagers were supposed to carve totem poles to show respect. With everyone and their mother becoming an esteemed elder, I guess it just didn't matter anymore. It is true that in my mind, every one of my villagers were destined to become elders before they died. I decided to still dress them in white garb, with or without a totem pole and just let the game keep running.

One day I looked at my village and I saw a mass of little people running around in white robes. Suddenly my little villaged seemed like a cult. Before what was prestigious and special was now just a ocean of white freakishness. This game just reminded me of how we view certain aspects of our lives and what we used to consider special now being mundane or stupid and the conformist ways in which we live. I'm bored with the game.

Starting Ahead

(looking down at the floor at a department store)

A1: Wow, these floor tiles are soo clean and shiny.

A1: These tiles are so lucky because the same tiles are here in S**** and stays shiny while other tiles from the same factory are on the bathroom floor at R**** all stinky and dirty.

A2: Its just like the lives of people.

A1: Exactly.

Power of Words (Part Two - Chain Letters)

I despise chain emails and think that people who write them should receive all the bad luck that they are passing out. I can appreciate the occasional funny pictures, etc. I am talking about the emails that say that if you don't send the email to 15 other people all doom will befall you.

So I have a friend who loves chain emails. I would receive at least one daily. I hinted and asked multiple times for this friend not to send me these emails. Finally I came out and specifically asked to be taken off the mailing list, because you know that my friend is bound to have a pre-made list. Anyway, I don't know if it was her response to me or bad timing, but this person sent me an email labeled (Do Not Delete (Read Alone)). Because I know that this friend is very sensitive to people's feelings and trusting that she took me off the mailing lists for chain emails, I took a chance and read the email.

The gist of the email was this: It was to warn non-believers. It gave examples of people who did not send the email to enough people or just deleted without reading. All the people who did not send the email to enough people died or had a loved one die. One of the examples was of a lady who only had 5 people in her contact list so although she forwarded the email to all 5 people knew, she died anyway. Maybe the email creator thought that if you only have 5 people in your contact list, you deserve to die.

This thoroughly pissed me off. One, because my friend did not listen to my request. Two, because of the absurd message in the email and what passing this email on would mean. The message was basically threatening death the people who do not pass on the email or don't send to enough people. So basically, the email put everyone who actually thinks about what they are sending to people into a moral dilemma. Do you risk your life or the lives of your loved ones and stop the stupidity or do you pass on the email to others and risk their lives instead? How do you know that the people you send the email to have enough people to forward the email to in order to stay alive? What does it mean when you send this death threatening email to your supposed friends and family who are in your mailing list? It isn't like you have strangers on your email list. Does it make any sense to put their lives in danger? This could be worse then the plague!! The email would be sent to people and grow exponentially and before you know it, all of human existence will seize to exist because some stupid email. Luckily I and so far as I know, everyone I know is still alive. If they weren't, I might have had to blame my friend for sending me deadly email.

So I replied to everyone on the mailing list saying as much for multiple reasons. One, to finally get my friend to stop sending these ridiculous emails. I mean, this one didn't even have a loving poem about how friends are important or anything, it's sole purpose was to be passed on to bring luck to those who send it to enough people and death to all others. Two, to try to get people to think about what they are passing on. Three, to speak out for people that didn't want to say anything. One person responded back to everyone on the list seconding me. I got another person saying that she loved me for my email.

My friend informed me, however, that she received multiple calls asking why I replied to everyone when my email was directed at her. The only thing that was directed specifically at my friend was a line asking her to take me off her mailing list. It disappointed me that all they got out of my email explaining the stupid nature of this email was wondering why I responded to everyone instead of getting the point that they are perpetuating waste.

I implore people, think before sending stupid mass chain emails that call for all doom, think about whether you would take the time to hand write these letters to send them out. If you would, well, maybe you need your head checked. If you wouldn't, delete. Just because it takes a split second to send emails and address it to a whole slew of people doesn't mean that the useless words are any less important.

On a side note. If you want to send a poem to your friends and family telling them how important they are and how much you love them, don't you think it would really make more sense to send individual emails or letters to these people saying so? It would mean a lot more to me if you sent me a "how are you" email to me over a mass email of the most beautiful poem in the world.

Power of Words - Part 1

I am a true believer in the power of words, but I believe that most people take the power of speech and writing for granted. I hear people all the time giving excuses for everything or claiming that "they didn't do it". It really makes me wonder what we would "say" if we couldn't speak and we could only speak through our actions. I'm sure people would be fighting all the time because that's the only way they could try to claim that they are not at fault. I am not saying that people should stop talking. I just wish that people would really just think before speaking and truly think about the effect their words are having.

Joke for the Chemistry Lovers

Hydrogen and Oxygen are sitting at a bar.
Suddenly when Gold walks in, Hydrogen yells, "A U get out!

Think People, Think!

More and more, I realize that people just blindly follow what they are told. I've had multiple conversations where people define morality or ethics based on what is legal and what is not. Why let others tell you what is moral or right? Laws are made by a bunch of people, usually lawyers, who just want to talk and enforce their opinions on others. Anyway....

Well, the other day I heard another person yet say again, "She had plastic surgery. I guess she didn't like herself enough."

Who says that people with plastic surgery don't like themselves? They might loves themselves so much that they want to look even better. The funny thing is that these same people who shun plastic surgery will think braces are a totally normal thing to do. Why? Because society says so. They aren't going to a plastic surgeon, they are going to an orthodontist. Here are these people imprisoning their teeth in wire cages while slowly torturing themselves for YEARS to have straight teeth and that perfect smile. Unless you are starving to death because your teeth are soo messed up that you can't chew or your teeth are rotting out your head, it is cosmetic. I'd rather be knocked out for an hour or two and come out with a cute nose then actually bending bones and going on a liquid diet because my teeth hurt too much I can't chew.

(FYI: I've never had either.)

Games Depicting Life

So I've started playing too many MSN games. One game I played is "Diner Dash."

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about: The same company came up with multiple games with basically the same concept. People come in and they have some order. They don't like being in line too long and want to be served promptly. The faster you serve them, the more hearts appear above their heads. The less satisfied the customers are, the more hearts start disappearing till if all the hearts disappear, they storm out of your business establishment. To increase patience, you can buy magazines or give drinks, etc. Usually customers enter with 3 hearts and you can get a maximum of 6 hearts.

I was at a bank the other day and was reminded of these games. As soon as I walked through the door I saw that there were at least 10 people in front of me. (Lose One Heart) Of course I saw 6 employees running around, but only 3 were helping the customers in line. (Lost Another Heart) Amused myself with this analogy. (Gain One Heart). I see that they have TV's with news (Delay Loss of Heart). The line doesn't move. (Lose Another Heart). I feel like storming out, but what can I do? I need to deposit money. That's where life starts being life I guess. Still, I couldn't help but think that it would have been nice for them to coax me with a latte.

Soft Hands, The Next Accent Point

So people that know me know that I'm all about the "accent point." In fashion, it is the one piece of clothing, accessory, etc, that pops out and adds that extra something to the outfit.

Well, I've decided that soft hands are a great accent point. I end up touching a lot of hands in one day. Sometimes the most grungy, dirty looking manly-man has the softest hands. When I meet someone like that the person automatically starts looking better for whatever reason.

Maybe it is only me and other people like rough hands, but I'd like to add "soft hands" to the list of important accessories of watches and shoes. So lotion on people, lotion on!

Mermaid Not So Clean?

A: "You know? I would never want to be a mermaid. They have to live in their poop like fish. Gross."

(why do you think the mermaids want to go up where they walk, up where they run, up where they can get away from their "stuff"~~~~)

Beauty and The Green

I overheard some lady say "Beauty is only skin deep. It's what's inside that matters."

Reminds me of the saying about how money doesn't matter......something something.

I wonder how many rich and/or beautiful people say those things and really mean it. It might be a chicken or the egg circular concept, but still....how many?

Old Geezer

There was a group of four elderly persons sitting next to me. I couldn't help but overhear certain parts of their conversation. There was a married couple and two sisters sitting together. I don't know what they were talking about, but one blurted out, "Well, all I know is that men like big boobs. He (pointing to her husband) is a boob man."

This happened after her husband hugged the waitress and the same lady said "Well, now he won't give me the time of day!" (They were all very funny and cute.)

That made me wonder. The cycle of men seem to be "Innocent Baby" --> "Troublesome Toddler" --> "Strapping Young Man" --> "Grown Man" --> "Dirty Greasy Grossness" --> "Harmless Old Man" (Obviously not a complete set and not applicable to every man.)

When does the a man stop being attractive and turn into a dirty greasy man who you don't want to even look at and then into a harmless old man? Is it when we decide that he is no longer a sexual threat and we think he'd probably break a hip if he tried anything?

I sat there watching the old man hug different women and keep telling "harmless jokes" with slight sexual innuendos. The news tells us that more and more senior citizens are having sex past their 70's. Maybe men are all dirty old men...just protected by the disguise of age.

Cost of Endorphins

I was talking to my friend on the phone. My mom comes and sits next to me and tells me to tell my friend a funny story.

Me: What? I don't want to repeat a story. You want to talk to him?

Mom: No! Just tell him.

(My mom feeds me the story line by line and I repeat the sentences. After the story is over)

Mom: Did he laugh?

Me: No. That story wasn't funny. He says that the protagonist is just stupid.

Mom: Well, I feel bad for your friend then. If he had laughed he would have released $2000 worth of endorphins. (and laughs)

(Now you know where I get it from.)

Sound Chinese?

Man comes in and gives an Asian person a double take.

M: "You didn't sound Chinese on the phone!"

A: "Ha ha.....ha.....ha......ha......hmmm"

Heat, the Anti-Itch

So, after being attacked by a family of killer mosquitos, I was bitten almost 100 times on my legs in 2-3 days. Too lazy to go buy any anti-itch cream, I just sat there in misery. In my boredom I lit a candle.

So it hit me.

The itching is probably due to some protein and what destroys proteins? Heat. So I put two and two together and I stuck the tip of my finger into wax and then touched the drop of hot wax that was on my finger to a bite mark. It was hot as crap, but it took the itch away! Only problem is, 3 or 4 days later they itched again (or I was bitten again and couldn't tell which bites were old and which were new). I guess the hot wax was not hot enough to completely denature the proteins.

I suggest you just buy some cortizone, but it is something to think about.

Buffet = All you can eat HERE

Customers ask Owner at a Buffet.

C: So, I am getting full. Can I take my dessert to go?

O: I'm sorry, but we ask that you eat all the food here and not take any with you.

C: But I ate too much and now I'm too full for dessert.

(You know what the saddest thing is? The customer then either stuffs himself to a point they can't walk or they leave mad. It is only $6!!!!)

Soo Articulate!

In trying to describe the foliage and where to go to see it.

A: Go to the Smoky Mountains! It is beautiful. The trees look like a big, quilted, colorful.....quilt.

(Just think, I am one of them edumacated people too!)

Math Not Your Strong Point?

Conversation between a boss and employee:

B: Hey, I know you work two jobs because you don't have enough hours here. I will extend your hours, so just work here.

E: Well, then I want a raise.

B: Why would I give you a raise? You are doing the same job, just more hours.

E: Well, I make $7.50 per hour here and $7.50 per hour there, ... so I make $15.00 per hour. Why would I only work for you if you don't give me a raise?

B: ........

(Two days later he quit. Maybe he found a place that pays $8, so he'd be making $15.50 per hour. Who knows.....)

In the Beginning...

So I have a blog. Who would have thunk it?

I almost gave up during the process where I had to figure out a url. Either I'm not original or there are THAT many people who have a blog that all the names are taken. Maybe a little bit of both.

Sample addresses I tried:

randomramblings, myrandomramblings, craziness, qwertyuiop, poiuytrewq, asdfghjkl, zxcvbnm, whatisnottaken, whatisleft, numbtongue, etc.

Numb tongue came from me eating too much ice which made me slur like I had a few too many drinks. Ergo this address "iatetoomuchice" What can I say, I love ice.